Coffee Talk: Kick Butt Coffee

Cool logo

Jackie Chan punch card

"Inspirational" quotes on coffee sleeves

Swivel coffee lid

As I was feeling bad about myself for not posting in a while, I remembered I had these photos and video from Kick Butt Coffee. They have a martial arts twist on coffee and it works; from their fun logo to their memorable punch cards (get it, punch cards, hee), you can tell that a lot of thought went in to their look. Oh, and did mention that they have great coffee and great customer service? All this and two locations to choose from. Can I get a hi-yah?

Kick Butt Coffee

5775 Airport

and 5600 Guadeloupe

http://www.kickbuttcoffee.com/index.php

Facebook, http://http//www.facebook.com/kickbuttcoffee1?ref=ts

Twitter, http://http//twitter.com/kickbuttcoffee

*(Please excuse my double-spacing, it wasn't intentional. I'm having format issues.)

Uninspired

So, yeah. No posts in September or October. I can't speak for Dot, but I have been totally uninspired. Anyone have any restaurant/food suggestions? Spanks, Cheetah

Gag-hi's

Meh.

Did nothing to satisfy anything but the need for food in my stomach.

The Chicken Alfredo pizza had sun-dried tomatoes on it (?) and the Chicken Caesar pizza looked Greek with feta, tomatoes, onion, pepperoncini and olives. They must not know how to Google what Caesar means.

Crust does not look done in-house. It's a franchise so I just assume it's not.

For what it's worth, I'd rather eat at Cozzoli's in the mall.

Yaghi's Pizzeria

4220 W. William Cannon

Austin, Texas

512.891.7900

http://www.yaghisnewyorkpizzeria.com/index.html

Mmmmmm.... pie.

Dear Lord,

When I die I want my Heaven to be clouds of the most perfect sky high meringue with pillows of whipped cream on beds of banana creme. Maybe even coconut. Or lemon. Or chocolate. I want buildings made of pecans and apples with roofs made of the flakiest, most tender crust you can create. Cherry stop lights and peanut butter sidewalks. Cars of German Chocolate. And computers made of fudge.

Please and thank you.

Amen.

Blue Bonnet Cafe

211 Hwy 281

Marble Falls, Texas 78654

830.693.2344

http://www.bluebonnetcafe.net/

Olive to Eat Another Day

Attempt at decorating

Dining table and chairs, circa 1981 Salty breadstick with yellow and green salad...

...and white and brown

Half-way decent minestrone soup

Last week, one of my good friends, who I also work with, wasn't feeling very good. She was thinking that she needed to eat lunch and maybe she would feel better. I suggested some soup, maybe Souper Salads? No, she said, it closed down (Anderson Lane location). Ok, where then, I say. Olive Garden she says, for the lunch special of soup, salad, and breadsticks. Well, as you know from reading this blog, Dot and I aren't really into chain restaurants. Plus, I haven't eaten at an Olive Garden since I was in college. But, I will do practically anything for a friend, so I said why not.

We got there ahead of the lunch rush and were seated quickly. Our hostess however, (shaking my head) looked like she was ready to star as a vampire in the next Twilight movie. Seriously ladies, the goth look is out.

Well, then we wait. And wait. And while we wait I start to look around the room. I notice the broken window next to me (no picture darn it), the decorative plates on the wall, and the retro? dining table and chairs. Seriously? Chairs with wheels? Time for a remodel OG.

At last, our sever comes over and I swear to God that he just woke up. He took our order and came back 10 minutes later with our drinks. It might not have been that long, but it felt like it. Next, he sleepily brought out the salad and breadsticks. Bite of breadstick...salt and some bread. You could de-ice something with one of those breadsticks, for real. The salad was green, yellow, white, and brown. Now, maybe I watch too much Hell's Kitchen and Top Chef, but I would never let a salad that looked like that out of my kitchen. We sent the salad back and received another one just like it. Maybe they just put it in a new bowl and spit in it. I don't know, it was just inedible. Did I mention the gallon of dressing on it?

Finally, we get our soup and it's not too bad or maybe I was just staving by that point. I ate it all and got a refill. I asked my friend if she felt better, but I can't remember what she said. All I know is that I was grateful that lunch was over.

The Olive Garden

8833 Burnet Road

Austin, TX 78757

512-459-0701

http://www.olivegarden.com/

Still lazy.

http://realhousewifeofoakhill.typepad.com/blog/2010/07/6-frozen-yogurt.html

I'm so lazy

I mean really. Why do double work?

http://realhousewifeofoakhill.typepad.com/blog/2010/07/3-and-4.html

McCormick & Schmuck's

I've had two impressive meals at this very location before so

what.

the hell.

was that?

My plate is not empty because I loved my food. My plate is empty because that's what it tasted like.

Nothing.

The Roma Tomato Bruschetta came out looking like dry toast with pico de gallo poured over it sprinkled with Kraft Parmesan Cheese.

The Shiner Bock Fish Taco looked impressive then completely fell short. Without the Cilantro Ranch it was nothing. And there wasn't enough Cilantro Ranch.

The Spicy Tuna Roll was so gummy that it may as well have been gum. My husband can make better rice than that.

The Oysters on the Half Shell, while OK, were so shockingly different in appearance I was surprised they were served on the same plate; one looked like it had been minced.

The "Rhode Island" Calamari, quotation marks theirs, was decent. Not great, sauce a little bland (more Kraft Parmesan on top!), but decent.

The Sauteed Black Mussels were OK, but I noticed the bowl was not empty when it was cleared.

The Pork Pot Stickers were... well... not Pot Stickers. Pot Stickers have a browned side indicating that they have indeed stuck to a pot. These were fried. They were Asian Empanadas.

The Tempura Shrimp was the only thing that anyone said, "This is OK, try this."

Add a too sweet drink that I'm not even sure had vodka in it and I had one of the worst meals ever.

Ever.

McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurant

401 Congress Ave. (another at The Domain)

Austin, Texas 78701

512.236.9600

http://www.mccormickandschmicks.com/

Here we go 'round...

I'll make this brief.

Because this was the smallest restaurant I have ever eaten in.

We walked in and almost hit the back wall. There were only 2 tables inside (both full) and the bar. All the rest were outside (uhm... it's hot!). For some (thankful) reason, they asked the couple at the back table to move so our party of four could sit; they did. I offered to buy them a drink or dessert, but they declined. Turns out I may know why.

The little cubby that that table was in was like an echo chamber. It was so loud (thanks Sex & The City look-alikes at the bar!) that you could barely hear yourself think. It was like how you feel on a heavy decongestant, like your head is in a bowl. Very weird.

Food was good. Maybe even really good. But it's heavy on plates (what you see is what you get... I ordered meatballs. I got meatballs. That's it.). The menu is creative though and the wine list is pretty damn good. Happy Hour even includes 20% off bottles! But it's only beer and wine so don't start craving a cocktail.

Dessert was a hit as you can tell. Butterscotch creme brulee. Yum! And Nicole was one of the best servers I have had in a LONG time. And I eat out A LOT!. Please ask for her.

Worth a casual visit. Not set up to be your "go to" place I think, but it's perfect for what it is: a wine bar below a condo in downtown Austin.

Just don't go looking for the dining room. Because you're in it.

Mulberry

360 Nueces Street

Austin, Texas

52.320.0297

http://www.mulberryaustin.com/

When the moon hits your eye

Isn't there a "You might be a redneck..." joke about if you only order pizza from a place that you have the number memorized for because of a jingle? If there's not, there should be.

If you want REAL pizza, Home Slice is my FAVORITE. I love it, I love it, I love it!

I love their crust. I love their sauce. I love their toppings. I love their salad. I love their wine tumblers. I love their decor. I love that I went to college with one of the owners.

Only thing negative I can say is that I ordered cookies and milk one time for dessert and was very disappointed that the cookies were not warm, but that's it.

There is a debate in my house that Southside Flying Pizza should be crowned king. And I know I have a few new places to try too (I see you over there East Side Pies. You too Brooklyn Pie Co.!) But until then, I vote Home Slice. Pans down.

And if any of you try to talk me into the "new & improved" Domino's or that "better ingredients make better pizza", the moon won't be the only thing hitting you in the eye.

Home Slice Pizza

1415 South Congress

Austin, Texas

512.444.PIES

http://www.homeslicepizza.com/

No class to Gold Class

Movie watching just got served.

Enter Gold Class Cinema in The Domain. Swanky lounge, servers in all black, unique cocktails, stemless wine glasses, above average menu and wait for it... velvety theater seats that recline... all the way. Add a hidden compartment for your purse and a blanket and I thought I might never leave.

Except I did because I hate to say it, but the service was only so-so. There are so many people involved - the lounge is literally swarming with staff - that it's kinda a "too many cooks" situation. Different servers take your order and deliver it in the theater so there is no continuity. Orders are taken verbally so it's hard to be heard when the movie is on. They don't let you keep the menu so you have to ask for it if you want something else (at least our lady didn't). It seemed to take a long time to get things. One chick actually sounded annoyed that we buzzed for someone so we could order more drinks. Uhmmm.... isn't that your job?! The whole time, from the time we got our tickets to the time we paid our bill, I felt like I was the only person not in on the joke. The "deal" was never really explained to us, we sorta fumbled our way through the evening.

The "deal" is when you buy your tickets ($29 regular, $22 for members - sign up on line, it's free), they also swipe your credit card for your seat (which is assigned as there are only 40 seats in each theater). That way your orders are automatically added to your tab and your check is brought toward the end of the movie. Any server can access your tab using your seat number. If you are in a group and want to sit by a certain person, set that up now or someone else will get billed for your stuff (and in that case, get the lobster!). It's really best to eat in the lounge or at least to order in the lounge and they can time it to come while you're in the movie. Oh and you don't go right in and sit - they tell you when to go in, roughly 10 or so minutes before showtime (which was very prompt).

The food was really very good and now that I know the drill, I can pay more attention to the whole menu and by the whole menu, I mean the cocktail and wine list! It was just too overwhelming to think straight last night.

But the minute you sit in that recliner and they bring you a fuzzy blanket and you get your seat adjusted just right... you will never, ever be satisfied with a straight-backed, knees-in-your-chest, old popcorn, sticky floor movie experience again.

Movies. You got served!

Gold Class Cinema

3225 Amy Donovan Plaza (the end near Braker, South of Macy's, in the newer part)

Austin, Texas 78758

512.568.3400

http://www.goldclasscinemas.com/Theaters/Austin-Texas.htm

Winner - Have you been paying attention?

That title was actually misleading as no one technically won.

Two people guessed we weren't charged tax for the wine. But did you know, "... let’s talk about the role of the government and how it affects our pricing through taxes, license and fees. Did you know that a restaurant in Texas is not allowed to directly charge tax for alcoholic beverages if they have what is called a mixed beverage permit? This permit is the type purchased from the State by restaurants that serve not only beer and wine, but cocktails as well. Restaurants with this permit are responsible for paying tax on all alcohol (beer, wine and liquor) directly; it cannot be passed along to the customer as a separate fee. Last I checked, Texas has the highest mixed beverage tax in the nation coming in at 14% of sales. No, not the price we pay for the beverage, but the price we sell it for. To put this in perspective if you come in my restaurant and order a $50 bottle of wine, you pay $50 only (no tax), I pay the state of Texas $7.00 from the restaurant. Your local grocery store and package shop are not subject to this tax. They pass it on to you, the consumer, as regular sales tax." Found this on another blog, but it seems well researched and I'm too tired to look it up further as it serves my purposes as is.

One person said that we had not invited her. And while, yes, it is a crime as she is very witty company, that is not the answer.

The last person answered that we only had one bottle of wine. Not exactly the answer I was looking for... but wkamasaki is the big winner!

What I was looking for was referenced in http://dotandcheetaheat.blogspot.com/2010/01/do-you-see-what-i-see.html where the liquor was more than the food!! So inadvertently wkamasaki was right; we did only have one bottle of wine and therefore the alcohol was less than the food. And that is not how I roll.

So wkamasaki... where are we going?!

A Tale of Two (Coastal) Cities

Gaido's marquee

Gulf Shrimp and Deep Sea Scallops Platter

Floyd's marquee

Maybe they will frame my review too!

Crab Bisque

Grilled Stuffed Shrimp

Last week I traveled to Beaumont for work. On my way out of town I stopped at a restaurant called Floyd's because a State Trooper told me to and I'm a good girl. However, this trip reminded me that I that I have another review to write from my Texas City trip. So, let's go back in time...two months ago. Texas City, March 31, 2010. My co-worker and I had just finished driving from Austin to Texas City, checked into our hotel, and were craving seafood (her husband hates seafood so she was really excited). I suggested we drive into Galveston and go to Gaido's. Growing up in Texas, I remember going to the coast on many summer vacations. Whenever we went to Galeveston, we went to Gaido's or one of their sister restaurants (see their website).

If they weren't located on the beach, I would have been slighty embarassed by my shorts and flips flops amongst the white-jacketed waiters and white tablecloths. I had the Gulf Shrimp and Deep Sea Scallops platter and it was delicious. The sauteed mushrooms (can you see it in the pic?) were fantastic. The shrimp and scallops were great too. A good, solid, meal.

Now, let's come back to the current month of May. Last week, Beaumont, Floyd's. I had the CrabBisque and the Grilled Stuffed Shrimp. I LOVED the bisque and it's just fun to say. Bisque. It was not short on the cream or crab at all; lots of big chunks were waiting on the bottom of my cup. I'm not sure why you need to serve rice with such a great cup of bisque, but ok. My shrimp were really good too. It was basically crab cake mixture stuffed into the shrimp and then grilled. The shrimp had some heat and were just a tad too salty by the time I ate the third one.

Did y'all know that Beaumont is humid? Bisque. Bisque. Bisque.

Gaido's

3828 Seawall Blvd

Galveston, TX 77550

1-800-525-0064

http://www.gaidos.com/

Floyd's

2290 I-10 South

Beaumont, TX 77707

409-842-0686

http://www.floydsseafood.com/

Have you been paying attention?

What's wrong with this bill?

I'll buy lunch for the winner. In the event that more than one person gets it right, I will very scientifically select a winner from a hat. I will literally put all the names in a hat and draw. It will probably be a cowboy hat. Or maybe a sombrero if I'm feeling festive.

Winner announced Saturday, May 29th whenever I get around to it.

Going off to Hill's on a Gravy Train

Gravy.

Is there a better word in the English language?

Literally, it means flour and fat blended together to add texture and flavor. Figuratively, it means extra benefits or unexpected gain. It's really a perfect word.

Reminds me of a time in college. (Yes... I actually remember a few things from college.) We were doing a show that called for fried rattle snake meat. So every afternoon, I'd go get a Family Size Tender Meal Deal from Golden Fried Chicken (which we called Goldenmafried. Don't ask me why.). The tenders and potatoes would go on stage, but the vat of gravy stayed in the green room. Where I was. With a spoon. Eating it like soup.

I love gravy.

I also loved the chicken fried steak that little d and I shared at Hill's today. It was one of the best I've ever had - good meat, breading not too heavy, thick gravy. You get your choice of yellow or white gravy. We didn't specify and got yellow. Not sure what makes yellow gravy yellow. (Note to self, Google yellow gravy...) Sides included mashed potatoes (good, not amazing), corn casserole (lots of corn bready stuff, not enough actual corn), tomato pie (is it like quiche? no. is it like pizza? no. is it like an open faced grilled cheese and tomato sandwich? no.) and fries (yummy!). Z had a classic cheese burger (voted one of the best in Austin and I heartily concur) and C had chicken tenders as big as his face. Throw in sweet tea in mason jars and you've got yourself a right nice lunch.

And that makes the rest of the day gravy.

Hill's Cafe

4700 S. Congress Ave.

Austin, Texas

512.851.9300

http://www.hillscafe.com/index.html

In the name of science

Happy Hour last Friday at Peche, lunch today at The Belmont - doing research for my upcoming birthday party!

Peche

It's where Malaga used to be so it feels familiar even though it's decorated totally different. It's now an absinthe bar and they pretty much flat out said you can't order a vodka tonic. Their drink menu is AWESOME and the closest I've seen to the mixology in NYC. If they chipped their own ice, I'd move in. Had the Pork Belly appetizer, because, well, come on! It's PORK BELLY! A little too dry on the outside for me, but was still very tasty. It came with mostarda, which I wish they had explained. I expected mustard and got fruit. Turns out it's like candied fruit in a mustard sauce and it's very, very good. Had a French 75 (gin, lemon and champagne) and an Aviation (gin, lemon, maraschino liqueur and creme de violette), both of which I'd had before, but I was letting Ace (yes, that's his real name) decide. He's a good man. Met just about everyone including the owner. Great, great place.

The Belmont

I'm sure this place looks fabulous at night, but in the daytime it's the tiniest bit worn looking. Not that I'm not holding that against her; I'm the same way. For an appetizer, I had a French 77 (St. Germaine Elderflower liqueur, lemon and champagne). It had lots of ice chips. I love ice chips. Followed it up with a Grilled Portobello and Brie Panini with basil pesto, arugula and roasted peppers and a side salad. All very yummy. Rounded it out with the Bourbon Pecan Cheesecake with raspberry and caramel sauce... sticky, gooey, almost flavorless and topped with what couldn't possible be Cool-Whip, could it?! Very disappointing. For the first time almost ever, when asked "How was it?", I replied, "Weeellll..." and she offered to get me something else. Very sweet, but no need - I don't "need" dessert at all. Then she went and took it off my bill anyway. She also called me "Darlin' " about 100 times. Something a little disconcerting about a girl half your age calling you "darlin' ". Unless I was a man. Which I am not. I drink French 77s.

I may have been comparing apples to oranges. Different times of day, didn't try the same kinds of things, different vibes to begin with. It's not fair to pick a favorite. So much for independent variables, controls and constants. I'd make a lousy scientist.

But hey, if I knew what I was doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?

Peche

208 W. 4th St.

Austin, Texas 78701

512.495.9669

http://www.pecheaustin.com/

The Belmont

305 West Sixth Street

Austin, Texas 78701

512.457.0300

http://www.thebelmontaustin.com/

I am gonna be so sick...

"Don't tell me it's not worth fightin' for I can't help it - there's nothin' I want more Ya know it's true Everything I do - I do it for... bacon."

First course:

Red Headed Stranger - housemade bacon-infused Dripping Springs vodka (used to be Tito's), housemade bloody mary mix, garnished with a chunk of cheddar cheese, a pepperoncini, an olive... oh yeah, and a slice of bacon. It was quite possibly the best Bloody Mary I have ever had in my whole life. And I make a good Bloody Mary.

Second course:

Carolina Pork It - 100% Vienna beef dog, stuffed with cheese, wrapped in bacon and deep fried, topped with grilled slaw and housemade green chile pimento cheese. I thought the slaw was cut a little too thick for hot dog application and I almost forgot it had pimento cheese on it at all, but overall an excellent hot dog by anyone's standards. It was really, really good. Don't be scared of the deep fried part... it's subtle (if anything about deep frying is subtle). I also had a side of Broccoli salad, ya know, to be healthy. It was good, but the leftovers were better. That's right, I didn't eat all of my broccoli! I had to save room for the... wait for it... bacon! Also tried the Potato Salad - it was like a baked potato all mashed up and it was awesome. And not so good left over as it turns out.

Third course:

Chocolate Covered Bacon - Hickory smoked bacon dipped in milk chocolate, sprinkled with turbinado sugar and sea salt. I love salty-sweet things! I thought it was really good, if not too heavy on the chocolate. That really shouldn't surprise you.

Fourth course (because I have no idea what's good for me):

After School Special - this is from memory because 1. the description is not on the website and B. I was on a bacon bender and can not be held responsible for my actions. Vanilla vodka, Bailey's and Godiva Chocolate liquour. It was also rimmed and sprinkled with, what I can only guess, was chile powder. I had no idea how much I inhaled as I take a sip of a drink! I choked... several times mind you... on this thing. It was yummy though once I figured out how not to look like an amatuer.

And I never did feel sick. I can handle my bacon. Just not my chocolate-chile cocktails.

Frank

4th & Colorado

Austin, Texas 78701

512.494.6916

http://hotdogscoldbeer.com/

Coffee Talk: Starbucks

Iced Dark Cherry Mocha

The wrapper and some crumbs from my cranberry scone

Dot, please don't hate me.

Yes, I expect many comments from this post.

That being said, I love Starbucks. I said it. I LOVE STARBUCKS. Let me tell you why. First, it's good coffee, made well. It has great flavor because they roast their beans a little longer (I read that on their website). Seriously, it tastes good.

Secondly, they are fast. They are fast because they have enough darn people working in the shop. I can't tell you how irritating it is to walk in to a coffee shop at 7:00 am to find one person working the counter. Is it me? Am I a jerk? Isn't the peak coffee purchasing time before most people go to work between 7:00-9:00? Shouldn't you have more staff working during that time? Help me, help you.

Thirdly, they have a drive-through. Look, I'm not nice before caffeine - deal with it. The drive-through allows the least amount of interaction with humans before caffeine. Trust me, this is a good thing.

Lastly, Starbucks are everywhere. Dot's hubby can back me on this. When you NEED coffee, you don't have time to find the cute, tiny, one-person manned, not-so-sure-if-the-coffee-is-good, local coffee shop. I was very happy to find one both Texas City and Lufkin (sing hallelujah now) when traveling for work recently.

Don't get me wrong, I love the local coffee shop when I have time to wait 10 minutes for a regular cup of coffee, or just to hang on a weekend. Most days, I'm making my own coffee (set to brew before I get up) or driving through Starbucks for a Venti Caramel Macchiato or some other deliciousness.

Please don't hate me for loving corporate, delicious, fast, readily-available coffee.

Thanks!

Cheetah

Starbucks Coffee

Many locations across everywhere

www.starbucks.com

Before and After

That was before.

This was after.

I absolutely friggin' love Celia's in Amarillo, Texas. I have no idea what they do that makes me love their food. Is it the best I've ever had? Probably not. Is it fancy? Nope. Is it magically delicious? Hell to the yes!

I do know they put oregano in their taco sauce, which to me looked like salsa, but either way was fantastic.

It's the kind of place that has regulars, it's the kind of place that if they say 20 minutes for take-out, it's 40, it's the kind of place that may get a demerit or two on their health inspection.

It's also the kind of place that doesn't make you feel bad for cleaning your plate. And that's my kind of place.

Celia's Cocina

2917 SW 6th Avenue

Amarillo, Texas 79106

806.322.0375

http://www.celiascocina.com/index.html

Fork and Spoon and Pie

Water with True Lemon anyone?

Sorry these shots of the menu are a bit wonky.

There aren't too many iphones in Texas City.

Chicken salad plate

Chocolate meringue pie

So, last week, my co-worker and I had to travel to Texas City to conduct an all-day training. For lunch that day, the local suggested the Fork & Spoon Coffee Shop, "They have fantastic soups, salads, and sandwiches! Oh, and they have great pie." All I heard was pie.

The eatery, which was within walking distance, was in an older, historical-looking (I sure am using lots of hyphens today) building. We sit down and order drinks; me - ice tea, co-worker - water with lemon. The waitress reaches over and pulls out a packet of True Lemon and slaps it down infront of my co-worker. Pause. Look up at each other. Stiffle laugh. Seriously? There aren't lemons in Texas City? Will produce suppliers not deliver lemons to the Coastal regions of Texas?

Next, after perusing the interesting menu, we order. Me - chicken salad plate, co-worker - tuna salad plate. I'm planning on having pie so, you do the math. When I received my salad I had another one of those moments mentioned above. Pause. Look up at co-worker. Stiffle laugh. Seriously? This is your idea of a fantastic salad Ms. Local Lady? The salad wasn't bad, it was edible. It's just that it's something I would have made in my dorm room in college. Finally, pie. Those who know me, at all, know that I LOVE pie and basically every other baked good (should that be hyphenated?). Their chocolate pie, aka chocolate ice box pie, might have been the best I've ever had. It's definitley in the top three which are now Frisco, Blue Bonnet Cafe, Fork & Spoon Coffee Shop. Anyway, it had great flaky crust, rich, creamy chocolate filling that was not too sweet, and delicious, fluffy, perfectly browned meringue. I would definitely go back...for pie.

Fork & Spoon Coffee Shop

902 6th Street North

Texas City, TX 77590

http://www.nowebsite.com/

409-945-9505

Coffee Talk: Pacha

Dearest Pacha,

I love your strong, delicious coffee (Texas Coffee Traders). I also love your fun interior, all your organic offerings, and especially, your scrumptous breakfast tacos with homemade salsa.

I dislike your tiny parking lot and the long, slow lines, in the morning for coffee. These two things prevent me from visiting more often.

Alas, no one is perfect.

Nice Eco Sleeve.

xo,

Cheetah

Pacha

4816 Burnet Road

Austin, TX 78756

512-420-8758

http://www.motherpacha.com/

From Blue to Que

Hello. Remember me? Cheetah? I've been MIA for a spell. I've been eating, just haven't had time to tell y'all about it. But stand back, I'm about to make up for it...

Back in January, I had to travel down to Harlingen for a week for work. On my last day there one of my work colleagues, that has never been to the gulf coast, really wanted some seafood. So, one of the locals recommended The Blue Shell. When our party of six walked in, we were all hit by a smell. I can't really describe it except to say that that smell should not come out of any restaurant, let alone a seafood restaurant. The place was empty and no one ever came to seat us so, we got the hell out of there.

Next, our local suggested a steak place called Longhorn Cattle Company. Which is hilarious because it's really a Bar-B-Que place that serves steaks nightly (see pic). Whatever, because it was awesome. But how can you go wrong with a wagon wheel in the "lobby", a dessert case, pitchers o'drinks, an amuse bouche of charro beans served in a mug (the best I've every had, seriously), a juicy steak and loaded baked potato and evidence that everyone in the area loves this place?

Longhorn Cattle Company

3055 W. Expy 83

San Benito, TX 78586

956-399-4400

http://www.longhorncattlecompany.com/

Y? Because we like you!

We're not crazy about your hostess, but we like you!

The good outweighed the bad first impression the older hostess? manager? lady? gave us on our inaugural visit to Jack Allen's Kitchen. I only point out that she was older to differentiate her from the younger lady that took us to our table and was very nice. The older one... well, my exact words were, "She's a bitch." And I'll leave it at that.

What I won't leave is the Smashed Guacamole with pumpkin seeds, cojita cheese and house-fried chips. I'm glad avocado has the good kind of fat because I stuffed myself with it. I obviously wasn't too stuffed to also enjoy the Baja Style Fish Tacos and the Texas Gulf Blue Crab Gratin. Or the Chocolate Bombe. Or any of the three kinds of mojitos I tried.

Started by a team from Z'Tejas, in a totally redesigned building, using fresh and local ingredients, Southwest Austin is blessed to have this gem right off The Y at Oak Hill.

Just tell that lady at the front door to smile.

Jack Allen's Kitchen

7720 Highway 71 West

Austin, Texas 78735

512.852.8558

http://www.jackallenskitchen.com/index.html

Good. Lord.

I may have died and gone to heaven last night.

It was my second visit to Max's Wine Dive and it only confirmed what a crazy good restaurant it is. CRAZY GOOD!

First time I went I had the blue cheese chips (OMG), fried chicken (what the heck have I been eating all these years?!) and New Orleans bread pudding (could not stop eating it!). Zilla had the pot roast (mouth-watering) and shared my appy and dessert, lest you think I ate all that myself. Although I could have. Watch me.

Last night, after a film fest and a Guinness, we needed sustenance and were mere blocks away from Max's. How convenient! We pored over the menu and I tell you what, every. single. thing looked delectable. We settled on: the Yama Kobe beef burger for me (#16 on Texas Monthly's list and way higher on mine), the Fried Egg Sandwich for Wonderhands (good god almighty) and the Drunk Bread for Nay-Nay (simply divine).

In a nutshell:

Burger - perfect beefy goodness, you taste every layer of flavor, nothing overwhelms (except the spicy-ass ketchup for the fries! Wow! Hot!), it was a fantastic, upscale, yet basic, burger.

Sandwich - bacon and eggs on a whole new level; homey and delicious.

Drunk Bread - like a lazy man's fondue - no dipping required! the wine and Gruyere were up front and personal... I loved it.

And I didn't even mention the Tres Fritos we started with - fried green tomatoes, pickles and okra... mmmm... fried okra... mmmm...

I absolutely adore this restaurant and I hope no one reads this and spreads the word so it gets so busy I can't get in anytime I want. In fact, forget everything you just read - "These aren't the droids you're looking for."

Move along you looky-loos, there's nothing to see here!

Max's Wine Dive

207 San Jacinto Avenue

Austin, Texas 78701

512.904.0106

http://www.maxswinedive.com/austin/index.php

Expect Mole. Pagas Less.

What do you do when you want Mexican but don't want to get too far off the highway? Stop by a place next to a Target.

Azul Tequila has been around about 9 years, has an extensive tequila/margarita list, make 99% of the food from scratch (all except the flour tortillas - I asked) and are the only ones that make Chili Relleno en Almendra - poblano pepper stuffed with sauteed picadillo blended with almonds, raisins, tomatoes and onions topped with almond cream sauce - right... at least according to my waiter.

So one Mexican Martini later, I had a pretty good time. I want to go back. Maybe it didn't blow my mind, but it didn't blow my budget and it satisfied my craving.

And I need some things at Target.

Azul Tequila

4211 S. Lamar Blvd.

Austin, Texas 78704

512.416.9667

http://www.azultequila.com/index.php

Coffee Talk - Lift Cafe

Bacon, in fact, does not make everything better.

And I love bacon. LOVE bacon. It's the only reason I am not a vegetarian. So naturally I am drawn to all things bacon, hence trying the Bacon Latte at Lift Cafe. It's not on the menu, but another blog post mentioned it so I marched in and ordered one the other afternoon. And the look on the chick's face should have been warning enough.

She was half cutie/half slacker so I wasn't sure her quizzical look was about the fact that I ordered one or that she was confused I actually asked her to do some work. I waited while she panini-pressed some bacon, watched her drain the last little dribble of the butter pecan syrup into my cup and replied with a hesitant "...yes?" to her question of whether I'd like whole milk. The look on her face implied that I did. At this point, I'm nervous. When the "barista" (and I'm using air quotes with all sincerity here) is not even into the beverage at hand, you know you're in trouble. Same goes for her query as to whether I want whipped cream and pecans - not something I would normally get - but when trying a bacon latte, you should just trust the recipe. Her only honest moment was when she admitted she's not good with the whipped cream sprayer thing... it wasn't pretty.

First sip - whipped cream, real whipped cream, yummy.

Second sip - stale, chewy pecans.

Third sip - latte. Just latte.

Fourth sip - still just latte. And not even a very good one. And where's the Butter Pecan flavor?

Repeat 5 more times.

Tenth sip - what the?! Oh, yeah. There's bacon in the bottom of my cup. Two pieces of wet, floppy bacon. I'm immediately reminded of the scene in Stars Wars (Episode IV- A New Hope for you nerds) where they are trapped in the trash compactor and that slimy, snaky monster thing slithers up out of the water. (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.) I don't know what I was expecting. Actually, I don't even know what I was thinking.

I drink the whole thing anyway, looking for the bacon flavor in my bacon latte. I get a hint of smokey-something-not-really-bacon toward the end because it's been marinating in my cup (blech). But I finish it and eat the bacon, because I'm no quitter.

And then I curled up in a fetal position until the nausea passed.

Lift Cafe

215 S. Lamar, Suite A

Austin, Texas

512.472.LIFT

http://www.liftaustin.com/

They ain't lyin'

I've recently started exercising fairly regularly and am trying to watch what I eat. So of course a recent night out included a very strict diet regime I call, "Tamales and Sausage".

Note: You really should consult your doctor before beginning any new diet. Luckily mine was there. OK, it was my dad. And he's a dermatologist. But whatever.

Floore's does a limited menu when they have a big show so the regular cafe menu that includes salads, sandwiches and chicken fried goodness is whittled down to meat, meat and meat. And no fries, just chips. Luckily this fit my new requirements. I had 6 (!) of the best tamales I've ever had in my life (and I've made home made tamales). They are the perfect combination of meat to masa and fat to spice. They are really, really good. Then I washed them down with a sausage. (I turned my nose up at the flour tortilla it was wrapped in until I saw it was smeared with the charred outside of the sausage so I had to try it. And it was worth it.) The sausages aren't too greasy and have a smokey thing going on that I really like. I declared that I wanted to make a sausage flavored lozenge as I sucked on a particularly good piece. I'd kiss snotty strangers just to get sick. Yes, I just said that. Rounded out the meal with a couple of Michelob Ultras for dessert (note to self: they make you very burpy. do not drink any more of those) and I was a very happy camper. A happy camper that couldn't get up and dance because my jeans were undone.

John T. Floore Country Store. You'll come for the tamales, you'll stay for the sausage. Oh yeah, and some pretty damn good live music.

John T. Floore Country Store

14492 Old Bandera Rd

Helotes, Texas 78023

210.695.8827

http://www.liveatfloores.com/index.html

$200 Pyramid

Plural of "imperium" meaning command or supreme power.

An online Medieval strategy game.

An event center in New Jersey.

A coastal town in Italy.

A goth metal band.

A cabinet maker in New England.

An overhyped Asian restaurant and sushi bar in Austin.

Things named Imperia? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!!

We had high hopes after seeing all the accolades it had received, but after the first two appetizers, we were disappointed. Oh! But those first two appetizers were soooooo good! The Imperia House Edamame served warm with Fresno chiles and lemon essence were yummy and the Buttery Edamame Potstickers were. to. die. for. For real. To die for. We'll go back for drinks and appetizers.

What we won't go back for is anything else. While the quality of the food is fine, the balance of some of the other dishes we had was waaaaay off. The Imperia Suzuke (ceviche) was so overpowered by the lime, that was all you tasted. Couldn't even tell you what fish it had it. And it was supposed to have tomatoes, cilantro and sliced Asian pears (?!), but it had almonds and golden raisins. Either way it didn't matter because you couldn't taste anything anyway. The Pablo Escolar roll did not live up to it's great name. You would assume that if the description says "blah, blah, blah rolled in tempura flakes" that all the ingredients would be ROLLED up and not have the thing you hate that you thought you could handle if it was mixed in, because come on, how much could they possibly put in it, plopped on top all grey and gross. Why does eggplant, Japanese or otherwise, even exist?! We didn't even finish it. Those were the two big misses and the dishes in between aren't worth going back for.

For the money, I'm going to Uchi. It only means "house".

Imperia Asian Dining|Sushi Bar & Lounge

310 Colorado St.

Austin, Texas 78701

512.472.6770

http://www.imperia-austin.com/