Mmmmmm.... pie.

Dear Lord,

When I die I want my Heaven to be clouds of the most perfect sky high meringue with pillows of whipped cream on beds of banana creme. Maybe even coconut. Or lemon. Or chocolate. I want buildings made of pecans and apples with roofs made of the flakiest, most tender crust you can create. Cherry stop lights and peanut butter sidewalks. Cars of German Chocolate. And computers made of fudge.

Please and thank you.

Amen.

Blue Bonnet Cafe

211 Hwy 281

Marble Falls, Texas 78654

830.693.2344

http://www.bluebonnetcafe.net/

Going off to Hill's on a Gravy Train

Gravy.

Is there a better word in the English language?

Literally, it means flour and fat blended together to add texture and flavor. Figuratively, it means extra benefits or unexpected gain. It's really a perfect word.

Reminds me of a time in college. (Yes... I actually remember a few things from college.) We were doing a show that called for fried rattle snake meat. So every afternoon, I'd go get a Family Size Tender Meal Deal from Golden Fried Chicken (which we called Goldenmafried. Don't ask me why.). The tenders and potatoes would go on stage, but the vat of gravy stayed in the green room. Where I was. With a spoon. Eating it like soup.

I love gravy.

I also loved the chicken fried steak that little d and I shared at Hill's today. It was one of the best I've ever had - good meat, breading not too heavy, thick gravy. You get your choice of yellow or white gravy. We didn't specify and got yellow. Not sure what makes yellow gravy yellow. (Note to self, Google yellow gravy...) Sides included mashed potatoes (good, not amazing), corn casserole (lots of corn bready stuff, not enough actual corn), tomato pie (is it like quiche? no. is it like pizza? no. is it like an open faced grilled cheese and tomato sandwich? no.) and fries (yummy!). Z had a classic cheese burger (voted one of the best in Austin and I heartily concur) and C had chicken tenders as big as his face. Throw in sweet tea in mason jars and you've got yourself a right nice lunch.

And that makes the rest of the day gravy.

Hill's Cafe

4700 S. Congress Ave.

Austin, Texas

512.851.9300

http://www.hillscafe.com/index.html

Before and After

That was before.

This was after.

I absolutely friggin' love Celia's in Amarillo, Texas. I have no idea what they do that makes me love their food. Is it the best I've ever had? Probably not. Is it fancy? Nope. Is it magically delicious? Hell to the yes!

I do know they put oregano in their taco sauce, which to me looked like salsa, but either way was fantastic.

It's the kind of place that has regulars, it's the kind of place that if they say 20 minutes for take-out, it's 40, it's the kind of place that may get a demerit or two on their health inspection.

It's also the kind of place that doesn't make you feel bad for cleaning your plate. And that's my kind of place.

Celia's Cocina

2917 SW 6th Avenue

Amarillo, Texas 79106

806.322.0375

http://www.celiascocina.com/index.html

Fork and Spoon and Pie

Water with True Lemon anyone?

Sorry these shots of the menu are a bit wonky.

There aren't too many iphones in Texas City.

Chicken salad plate

Chocolate meringue pie

So, last week, my co-worker and I had to travel to Texas City to conduct an all-day training. For lunch that day, the local suggested the Fork & Spoon Coffee Shop, "They have fantastic soups, salads, and sandwiches! Oh, and they have great pie." All I heard was pie.

The eatery, which was within walking distance, was in an older, historical-looking (I sure am using lots of hyphens today) building. We sit down and order drinks; me - ice tea, co-worker - water with lemon. The waitress reaches over and pulls out a packet of True Lemon and slaps it down infront of my co-worker. Pause. Look up at each other. Stiffle laugh. Seriously? There aren't lemons in Texas City? Will produce suppliers not deliver lemons to the Coastal regions of Texas?

Next, after perusing the interesting menu, we order. Me - chicken salad plate, co-worker - tuna salad plate. I'm planning on having pie so, you do the math. When I received my salad I had another one of those moments mentioned above. Pause. Look up at co-worker. Stiffle laugh. Seriously? This is your idea of a fantastic salad Ms. Local Lady? The salad wasn't bad, it was edible. It's just that it's something I would have made in my dorm room in college. Finally, pie. Those who know me, at all, know that I LOVE pie and basically every other baked good (should that be hyphenated?). Their chocolate pie, aka chocolate ice box pie, might have been the best I've ever had. It's definitley in the top three which are now Frisco, Blue Bonnet Cafe, Fork & Spoon Coffee Shop. Anyway, it had great flaky crust, rich, creamy chocolate filling that was not too sweet, and delicious, fluffy, perfectly browned meringue. I would definitely go back...for pie.

Fork & Spoon Coffee Shop

902 6th Street North

Texas City, TX 77590

http://www.nowebsite.com/

409-945-9505

Y? Because we like you!

We're not crazy about your hostess, but we like you!

The good outweighed the bad first impression the older hostess? manager? lady? gave us on our inaugural visit to Jack Allen's Kitchen. I only point out that she was older to differentiate her from the younger lady that took us to our table and was very nice. The older one... well, my exact words were, "She's a bitch." And I'll leave it at that.

What I won't leave is the Smashed Guacamole with pumpkin seeds, cojita cheese and house-fried chips. I'm glad avocado has the good kind of fat because I stuffed myself with it. I obviously wasn't too stuffed to also enjoy the Baja Style Fish Tacos and the Texas Gulf Blue Crab Gratin. Or the Chocolate Bombe. Or any of the three kinds of mojitos I tried.

Started by a team from Z'Tejas, in a totally redesigned building, using fresh and local ingredients, Southwest Austin is blessed to have this gem right off The Y at Oak Hill.

Just tell that lady at the front door to smile.

Jack Allen's Kitchen

7720 Highway 71 West

Austin, Texas 78735

512.852.8558

http://www.jackallenskitchen.com/index.html

Perla's before swine...

What started as an "oh, let's try this place" turned into an "oh my goodness!" last night.

Hubby blissed out on a half dozen mixed raw oysters from the Cold Bar, I licked the plate of the Crab Louie & Cornmeal Fried Green Tomatoes with Russian Dressing that I was talked into by our waiter (thanks Matt!), we both enjoyed our salads (Iceberg Wedge with Texas Lump Crab and Roasted Fennel Waldorf, respectively) and we just about wet our pants over Hubby's Steamed Alaskan Halibut and my Pan Roasted Grouper with English Peas, Baby Carrots, House Cured Bacon and Parsley Butter. Start and end that with a great cocktail, add wine in the middle and you have yourself a very special night. I may have just found my new favorite fancy food place.

"Give not that which is pan roasted unto the dogs, neither cast ye your peas before swine, lest they trample them under parsley butter, and turn again and house cure you."

Perla's Seafood & Oyster Bar

1400 S. Congress Ave.

Austin, Texas 78704

512.291.7300

http://perlasaustin.com/

I'm not blaving...

"Sonny, true love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT: a mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe. They're so perky, I love that."

- Miracle Max, The Princess Bride

I was killing time before Hubby's dry cleaning was ready so I grabbed a bite for lunch. Trying not to eat too much meat... cheese sandwich sounds boring, not sure I want a salad, wrap sounds weird, what's this? a prosciutto, mozzarella, lettuce and tomato sandwich on a baguette with pesto mayonnaise? With a side salad?! Well, OK!

It was perfect. Like what you'd make at home except... you didn't have to. Super fresh and just enough of everything. It was awesome.

As for the true love thing... you're on your own.

Galaxy Cafe

three locations - I was in South Austin on Brodie

http://www.galaxycafeaustin.com/

In the dark

I will probably not see a movie if it's not at Alamo Drafthouse. I have grown too accustomed to drinking and/or eating during a movie. Which leads to my complaint.

My most recent excursions have all been to the South Lamar location as that is closer to my house, so all these observations are geared toward them, at least for now.

1. They have started keeping the lights so damn low before the movie starts that you have to bring a G.D. flashlight to see the menu. What? Those little wuss-ass lights under the table? To put it bluntly, they suck.

2. They have no idea how to service that many people at once. I don't know if all the start times are too close together or what, but we waited 35 minutes for popcorn. For popcorn!! So unless you get there a whole hour early, you'll be eating in the dark. Have you ever eaten salad in the dark? It ain't easy.

3. The staff that cleans after the movie (and I know they have to) talk so freakin' loud that you can't enjoy the credits and/or outro music if you're into that sort of thing. Which we are. Especially when the movie you just watched was dedicated to a friend of yours that passed away. Hubby is two years away from being that guy that yells at people to shut up. Please follow your own "Don't talk during the movie or we'll take your ass out" rules!

4. As for the food, they had a new burger (The Big (Organic) One) and while it had great flavor, the meat was so overcooked it was dry and chewy. They say it will be cooked medium-well, which I completely disagree with anyway, but it was well done and I don't mean "Well Done!". Hubby's Chicken Tacos didn't come pre-assembled and didn't come until 15 minutes into the movie (see #2) and he said they were bad and he meant bad as in bad not bad as in good.

That sad part is I'm not going to stop going. In general the food is still good, I think they are working on a new staff as they transferred all the good people to The Highball and I still want to drink while I watch a movie. I'm not repeating high school when Miller and I sneaked beer into The Chateau and then accidentally kicked our empties over and had to listen to them roll down to the front of the theater.

So damn you, Drafthouse and your tasty beverages!

Alamo Drafthouse Cinema

http://www.drafthouse.com/

Oh, brother...

Don't bother.

Baker Bros American Deli

http://www.bakerbrosdeli.com/

Previously on 24...

The following takes place between 11pm and 1am.

11:01pm

Group of seven walks into Annie's for an after-show snack... and a drink. They close at midnight so all seems well, a few people at the bar, cute server, cute place.

11:17pm

Website never said when Late Night Menu kicks in, but that's what is available. Very limited, but doable, Late Night Menu with no descriptions of the food although it's all fairly self explanatory. Cocktail menu looks interesting, albeit some odd choices. The Monkey Gland?! We place our orders and open presents!

11:25pm

Receive a Glenfiddich, when we ordered a Glenlivet.

11:41pm

Start to wonder where our food is. There are only three other couples in the restaurant: one was already eating, one only drinking and the one that came in after us has received their burgers.

11:55pm

Look around and see chef putting pizzas in the oven. At 11:55pm! For the first time, server comes over and says it will just be a little longer, "the pizzas take awhile". She offers to bring out what's ready. Well, duh!

12:04am

Brings out Margarita Pizzas. Decent pizza, good crust.

12:07am

Brings out Bacon Blue Burger. Immediately ask for a to-go box as it is... time to go.

12:09am

Brings out Truffle Fries. Sprinkled with Parmesan and drizzled with truffle oil. Continuously stuff in mouth as they are delicious.

12:12am

Brings out Sausage, Fontina and Oregano Pizza. Sausage is sorta like hamburger, but a little sausagier.

12:16am

Brings out Antipasto Salads. One full hour after we'd ordered them. One. Full. Hour. Good salad, crispy lettuce, was supposed to have more than one kind of meat, but didn't... not worth the wait though. THE ONE HOUR WAIT!

12:25am

Server brings complimentary brownies to placate the situation (way, way too late), followed by muffins to take home. Brownies are just OK. Have not had said muffins yet. Order a Stella.

12:30am

Group fights over check as it's a birthday dinner. Did I mention it was a birthday dinner?!?!

12:40am

Server brings back check, that she has already rung up, with the wine on it that she forgot on the first check. Officially cancel Stella that never came.

12:47am

Over tip. Food delay not really her fault, possibly the fault of the one chef cooking one thing at a time, while she does closing prep or lean on the counter talking to him. What should not have been rewarded was her complete lack of skill in handling a bad situation. No explanation of what was a ridiculous amount of a delay on a late night menu that is supposed to be fast and easy. Brownies don't excuse bad service.

12:51am

Grab coats. Walk out.

Stay tuned for scenes from next week's episode where we decide if we'll ever go back.

Annie's Cafe & Bar

319 Congress

Austin, Texas 78701

512.472.1884

http://www.anniescafebar.com/appleannies/contact.html

Bess, I hear you callin'...

I'll buy lunch for the first person that can name the real song from the title!

Had lunch with Cheetah. And a glass of wine. The world is full of surprises.

I have decided that the salad industry is at a standstill. I don't want to see another Wedge, I don't want to see another goat cheese and pecan on mixed greens, no more balsamic vinaigrette, you can have your Greek, your Taco and your plain Dinner. Where are the salad chefs?! Is there such a thing?! Well, we need them!

Then a simple plate of loveliness showed up. Herb Spring mix with walnuts and blueberries and a yummy vinaigrette (raspberry-basil to be exact and it's deliciously subtle). I don't even like blueberries, but the fact that they used them was exciting to me. And the good ol' walnut?! It's the king of nuts! It wasn't even on the lunch menu, but we asked for a dinner-type salad and this was the option - big enough to split. And it just may have restored my faith in salad.

I had the Mushroom Crepes, but compared to Cheetah's Chicken Pot Pie, they were boring. They weren't really - they just weren't... chicken pot pie. How we passed up the Bacon-wrapped Meatloaf, I will never know. What we didn't pass up was the Challah Bread Pudding with Chocolate Ganache. You had Cheetah at Ganache. And I just like saying pudding.

Super cute server, but she was a tad weak at the end (didn't clear bread basket and/or bread plates before dessert... or at all... and I had to ask for a refill on coffee), I still tipped well (which is fodder for a whole post in and of itself). Anyway, not the end of the world.

What will be the end of the world is if no one can name the song in the title.

BESS Bistro on Pecan

500 West 6th Street

Austin, Texas 78701

512.477.BESS (2377)

http://www.bessbistro.com/

Pictures? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Pictures!

Here's my side of the conversation this afternoon at Z' Tejas:

"Water for right now."

"No, we're OK."

"I think we know. Mom, you go first!"

"I'll have the Chicken, Artichoke and Mushroom Stack. Oh and a glass of the Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc."

"Cute cornbread thing."

"We ate here together before? Was I hungover?"

"That looks good!"

"Crap! I meant to order double vegetables instead of mashed potatoes!"

"Glad this is a soy-mustard sauce so I can pretend it's not fattening."

"Why is zucchini ALWAYS a seasonal vegetable?" (Although to be honest, I said this to myself, in my head.)

"Mmmm."

"What's the cobbler?"

"Yes, with two spoons and another glass of wine."

"Wow - it's bubbling!"

"Is that my water?!"

"Mmmm."

"No, my treat. You're a cheap date. My wine was $11 a glass!"

"Crap! I forgot to take a picture!" (Although to be honest again, I said this to myself too, in my head.)

I know you are shocked at what a scintillating conversationalist I am. What it boils down to is that I cleaned my plate and barely came up for air.

Z' Tejas 6th Street

1110 W. 6th St.

Austin, Texas 78703

512.478.5355

http://www.ztejas.com/index.html

Buenos Aires? Buenos Dias!

I just ate my words.

I had just told a friend of mine, "Oh... yeah... I really try to not eat red meat unless it's really special... ya know, like a really good steak or a special occasion...". Well, apparently lunch on a Wednesday is now a special occasion.

My book group buddy S.E. gave me several choices for lunch that were written up in Austin Monthly's Food Issue and I gotta tell ya... the lunch menu for Buenos Aires Cafe almost made me speechless. It was hands down my favorite looking menu. The variety and creativity of the sandwiches made my mouth water. Then throw in some empanadas, some salads, plate lunches and housemade desserts... O Dios Mio!, I'm hungry just thinking about it.

We started with a couple of emapanadas, which are made with a sort of puff pastry - interesting choice, very good, and I would get them again. Then we each had salads, they were good, not great, I'd have to try it again though to tell you what I did or didn't like. But hold on to your panqueques (they have those too!), because the Lomito Beef sandwich, voted best sandwich by The Onion, was sublime! How do you say sublime in Spanish?!

Certified Black Angus tenderloin with your choice of chimichurri sauce or Dijon mustard, served on a toasted French baguette ("Marie! The baguettes!" Name that movie!) with cheese or tomatoes (I did the chimichurri and tomatoes). It melted, literally melted, in my mouth. And if that wasn't enough, and by golly don't you think it ought to be?, I had the other half for dinner, cold out of the fridge, while driving (forget I said that) and I think it may have been even better!

I can't wait to go back and try more things. I hope everything else is as good as that dang sandwich.

If it's not, I'll eat my words.

Buenos Aires Cafe

2414 South 1st St.

Austin, Texas 78704

512.441.9000

(another location on East 6th too!)

http://www.buenosairescafe.com/

Trick or Trattoria?

It pains me to write this post, but I feel I have to. Sigh.

So, last Friday, my husband and I decided to have lunch together. I suggested Asti Trattoria (I took him there for his birthday 2 years ago and he loved it). We met there and ordered food and I ordered a glass of wine. The wine ordering part actually went very well. The server brought me two samples to help me decide what to order. The rest, not so much

We were there for and hour and a half and the table looked like the picture above for an hour. My husband ordered a dish that had Monkfish in it and I had the chopped salad with grilled salmon. When our orders finally came out, the server told Ruben that they didn't put enough fish on the plate and that she would bring him some more. Maybe I've been watching too much Hell's Kitchen and Top Chef, but should that have even left the kitchen if it wasn't right? My salad had onions on it, which I had asked to be cut. I sent it back. Normally, I would have just picked the onions out, but we had waited an hour for a salad with onions and a dish with a tiny piece of fish on it. But wait, it gets better. My husband takes a bite of the small piece of fish and makes a face. He said the fish tasted old and definitely overcooked. I take a bite of my salad; bland. I add salt. Yes, I did. Then, finally, one of the staff brings out another plate of fish and apologizes. My husband takes a bite and says that this is what they should have sent out in the first place: fresh, well-cooked fish. We eat quickly so we can get back to work.

Cheetah doesn't like tricks, only treats please.

Asti Trattoria (Tricktoria)

408 C East 43rd Street

Austin, TX 78751

512-451-1218

http://www.astiaustin.com/asti/

Nutty Brown - Update

It's still good.

Under the Neon Cowboy

I had just about given up on turkey when this deliciousness showed up.

It's a Sourdough Stack at Nutty Brown Cafe - thinly sliced turkey breast, Swiss cheese and grilled onions on grilled sourdough bread. Add jalapeno creamed spinach and viola!, turkey sandwiches are back in my life.

The Hubby loves the burgers and the chicken fried steak is as big as your head. They have a huge menu - the kind that might make you doubt they can do any of it well, but so far so good!!

They have a full bar (ask for Dusty!), Sunday Brunch buffet, Kid's Night on Tuesdays, a parrot named Cheeto and live music out back several nights a week. It's kind of a one-stop-shop!

If you have ever driven by their spinning neon cowboy sign and thought, "I've always wanted to try that place", I suggest you do. In fact... I think I'm going there for dinner tonight!

Maybe I'll see you there.

Nutty Brown Cafe & Amphitheatre

12225 Hwy 290 West

Austin, Texas 78737

512.301.4648

http://www.nuttybrown.com/

She Ain't No Rita Moreno, But She'll Do

I had never been to 26 Doors.

I have lived here 17 years (?!) and I just went there to have lunch with Cheetah at Santa Rita Tex-Mex Cantina (that's fun to say!).

The whole little center is so freakin' cute! I must go back! They have a ham store!

But to the topic at hand... soup and salad. Tex-Mex soup and salad. Tortilla soup and salad with a cilantro vinaigrette that I think they forgot to put the cilantro in. It was fresh, pretty and OK. Maybe even good. Not great, but good. I'd definitely go back. It's worth another looksy. We decided it's the best place to have your picture taken as every wall is fun and colorful and we sat across from a long mirror where you could check yourself out. If you do that sort of thing...

(I don't want to start a cat fight, but I think Trudy's has the best Tortilla soup in town. Don't tell Rita. She's still a nice girl.)

Santa Rita Tex-Mex Cantina

1206 W. 38th St.

Austin, Texas 78705

512.419.RITA

http://www.santaritacantina.com/

East sigh.....

Welcome to three of my all-time favorite dishes, all from the same place, Eastside Cafe. First up is soup; chicken artichoke mushroom soup to be exact. It doesn't matter what flavor soup because they are all good - no lie. Back to the chicken art mush... fantastically creamy and brothy at the same time with big chunks of artichoke and chicken. Mmmmm.

Next up, the mixed field greens salad. It looks deceptively simple, but its full of flavor. I don't know if it's the lightly fried goat cheese or their homemade raspberry vinaigrette that make it so good, but you need to try it.

Lastly, buttermilk pie. You may be thinking "buttermilk? Seriously?" I say yes, heck yes, buttermilk. Again, you have to try it to believe in its goodness. I don't know quite how to describe it. Let's see... light, yet creamy. Crusty, but not heavy. Tangy and sweet, but not sugary. The strawberries on top... perfection.

P.S.

I had no idea there was a "p" in the word raspberry and I also didn't know that you spell vinaigrette this way.

Eastside Cafe

2113 Manor Road

Austin, TX 78722

512-476-5858

http://www.eastsidecafeaustin.com/

Who says you can't step in the same Dong Nai twice?

I should not be allowed to eat Vietnamese by myself. I don't know what I'm doing.

In fact, I don't even know what I ordered. A noodley soupy thing. With that weird BBQ pork that's bright pink around the edges. It sorta freaks me out. Broth was good though. And the sprouts and green onions were fresh. Oh! and I got all cracked out on the Vietnamese iced coffee you see there. Whoa!

I was about to write this place off, but as I was leaving I noticed that at least one of the customers was a regular (a server came by to say hi), several people were picking up take out, the other tables seemed to be slurping away and I passed a lady that must have ordered what I wanted, but didn't know it. Her noodley soupy thing had lots of stuff in it. Piles and piles of little chopped up things. It looked really good. And later, I found out a friend ate lunch there every day for year. I will have to try it again. I clearly must be missing something.

What I'm not missing though is the guy in the booth next to me wearing train conductor striped short overalls. With no sense of irony. Short overalls and high top Converse. I kid you not.

Dong Nai

4211 South Lamar Blvd.

Austin, Texas 78704

512.444.1593

No website that I can find, but it was reviewed here:

http://www.austinchronicle.com/gyrobase/Guides/Location?oid=oid:411036

And Dong Nai is the name of a river in the mountains of south central Vietnam. Just in case you didn't know.

Diablo Sol Food

Cheese, glorious cheese!!!

Maudie's makes some damn fine queso. And my conclusion is not at all related to the two Mint Margaritas I had. Although they were damn fine as well.

How can this not be good?!

"A savory blend of melted cheese seasoned with flavors of fresh garlic, onions and peppers, combined with our tender taco beef and pico de gallo. In other words, queso with an attitude."

Come to Momma!

Maudie's

5 locations around Austin

http://www.maudies.com/