They ain't lyin'

I've recently started exercising fairly regularly and am trying to watch what I eat. So of course a recent night out included a very strict diet regime I call, "Tamales and Sausage".

Note: You really should consult your doctor before beginning any new diet. Luckily mine was there. OK, it was my dad. And he's a dermatologist. But whatever.

Floore's does a limited menu when they have a big show so the regular cafe menu that includes salads, sandwiches and chicken fried goodness is whittled down to meat, meat and meat. And no fries, just chips. Luckily this fit my new requirements. I had 6 (!) of the best tamales I've ever had in my life (and I've made home made tamales). They are the perfect combination of meat to masa and fat to spice. They are really, really good. Then I washed them down with a sausage. (I turned my nose up at the flour tortilla it was wrapped in until I saw it was smeared with the charred outside of the sausage so I had to try it. And it was worth it.) The sausages aren't too greasy and have a smokey thing going on that I really like. I declared that I wanted to make a sausage flavored lozenge as I sucked on a particularly good piece. I'd kiss snotty strangers just to get sick. Yes, I just said that. Rounded out the meal with a couple of Michelob Ultras for dessert (note to self: they make you very burpy. do not drink any more of those) and I was a very happy camper. A happy camper that couldn't get up and dance because my jeans were undone.

John T. Floore Country Store. You'll come for the tamales, you'll stay for the sausage. Oh yeah, and some pretty damn good live music.

John T. Floore Country Store

14492 Old Bandera Rd

Helotes, Texas 78023

210.695.8827

http://www.liveatfloores.com/index.html

Polak's Sawsage Farm

Come'on. How can you not write about a place called Polak's Sawsage Farm?

I passed this place on my way to and from Corpus Christi for 4 years. I finally stopped on my last trip home before I became redundant. I immediately kicked myself for waiting so long because it was so... charming? Yeah, let's go with charming.

I forced my road trip buddies to stop there on the way to Port A a couple of weeks ago (see "We're 44th!, We're 44th!" Aug '09) and I learned a few things that made me like it more:

1. It used to be a drive-in theater.

2. Their BBQ sauce is mustard based and homemade by an old lady.

3. All their jams, jellies and breads are homemade, presumably by the same old lady.

4. I saw some ladies (may or may not have been old) making big trays of potato salad and cole slaw for catering so I know they are homemade.

5. They have jerky.

We had the following:

Zilla - sliced beef sandwich, it was OK, and a side of beans.

Junior - chicken sandwich, no mayo, and it was, well, a dry chicken sandwich, with fries.

Hubby - chopped beef, mysteriously disguised as a sloppy joe, with fries.

Dotbot - the sawsage sandwich and cole slaw. How can you go to a sawsage farm and not have sawsage I ask you?

I had it the first time I went and I'd get it again, assuming I have another reason to ever pass through Kenedy/Karnes City. The sawsage was decent, the sauce is different, a little pickle and onion on buttery bread... it's way better than fast food. Man, that could be a slogan...

And don't tell my buddies, but mine was the best. Well, actually, I think they know that. I guess one man's charming is another man's eh, not so much.

Polak's Sawsage Farm Restaurant

2835 S Highway 181

Kenedy, Texas 78119

830.583.2113

No website that I can find, but I found this review:

http://www.yelp.com/biz/polaks-sawsage-farm-restaurant-kenedy