McCormick & Schmuck's

I've had two impressive meals at this very location before so

what.

the hell.

was that?

My plate is not empty because I loved my food. My plate is empty because that's what it tasted like.

Nothing.

The Roma Tomato Bruschetta came out looking like dry toast with pico de gallo poured over it sprinkled with Kraft Parmesan Cheese.

The Shiner Bock Fish Taco looked impressive then completely fell short. Without the Cilantro Ranch it was nothing. And there wasn't enough Cilantro Ranch.

The Spicy Tuna Roll was so gummy that it may as well have been gum. My husband can make better rice than that.

The Oysters on the Half Shell, while OK, were so shockingly different in appearance I was surprised they were served on the same plate; one looked like it had been minced.

The "Rhode Island" Calamari, quotation marks theirs, was decent. Not great, sauce a little bland (more Kraft Parmesan on top!), but decent.

The Sauteed Black Mussels were OK, but I noticed the bowl was not empty when it was cleared.

The Pork Pot Stickers were... well... not Pot Stickers. Pot Stickers have a browned side indicating that they have indeed stuck to a pot. These were fried. They were Asian Empanadas.

The Tempura Shrimp was the only thing that anyone said, "This is OK, try this."

Add a too sweet drink that I'm not even sure had vodka in it and I had one of the worst meals ever.

Ever.

McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurant

401 Congress Ave. (another at The Domain)

Austin, Texas 78701

512.236.9600

http://www.mccormickandschmicks.com/

In the name of science

Happy Hour last Friday at Peche, lunch today at The Belmont - doing research for my upcoming birthday party!

Peche

It's where Malaga used to be so it feels familiar even though it's decorated totally different. It's now an absinthe bar and they pretty much flat out said you can't order a vodka tonic. Their drink menu is AWESOME and the closest I've seen to the mixology in NYC. If they chipped their own ice, I'd move in. Had the Pork Belly appetizer, because, well, come on! It's PORK BELLY! A little too dry on the outside for me, but was still very tasty. It came with mostarda, which I wish they had explained. I expected mustard and got fruit. Turns out it's like candied fruit in a mustard sauce and it's very, very good. Had a French 75 (gin, lemon and champagne) and an Aviation (gin, lemon, maraschino liqueur and creme de violette), both of which I'd had before, but I was letting Ace (yes, that's his real name) decide. He's a good man. Met just about everyone including the owner. Great, great place.

The Belmont

I'm sure this place looks fabulous at night, but in the daytime it's the tiniest bit worn looking. Not that I'm not holding that against her; I'm the same way. For an appetizer, I had a French 77 (St. Germaine Elderflower liqueur, lemon and champagne). It had lots of ice chips. I love ice chips. Followed it up with a Grilled Portobello and Brie Panini with basil pesto, arugula and roasted peppers and a side salad. All very yummy. Rounded it out with the Bourbon Pecan Cheesecake with raspberry and caramel sauce... sticky, gooey, almost flavorless and topped with what couldn't possible be Cool-Whip, could it?! Very disappointing. For the first time almost ever, when asked "How was it?", I replied, "Weeellll..." and she offered to get me something else. Very sweet, but no need - I don't "need" dessert at all. Then she went and took it off my bill anyway. She also called me "Darlin' " about 100 times. Something a little disconcerting about a girl half your age calling you "darlin' ". Unless I was a man. Which I am not. I drink French 77s.

I may have been comparing apples to oranges. Different times of day, didn't try the same kinds of things, different vibes to begin with. It's not fair to pick a favorite. So much for independent variables, controls and constants. I'd make a lousy scientist.

But hey, if I knew what I was doing, it wouldn't be called research, would it?

Peche

208 W. 4th St.

Austin, Texas 78701

512.495.9669

http://www.pecheaustin.com/

The Belmont

305 West Sixth Street

Austin, Texas 78701

512.457.0300

http://www.thebelmontaustin.com/

If I Had the Strength of Ulysses

Come, worthy Greek ! Ulysses, come, Possess those shores with me ! The winds and seas are troublesome, And here we may be free ! Here we may sit and view their toil That travail in the deep, And joy the day in mirth the while, And spend the night in sleep.

-"Ulysses and the Siren", Samuel Daniel

Ah Fino, you evil temptress. Your Happy Hour does not start until 5 o'clock. Why must you tease me so?

Your flirtation begins with a gin and Pimm's No. 1 cocktail that is so unique, I don't care that it is full price. Then you slip me a juniper delight made with a pine liqueur that, for a gin drinker, is dazzling. So by your 5 o'clock bell, I'm smitten and bask in a gin-fueled glow of cherry, lemon and creme de violette. Sweet alcohol-induced victory.

And if that wasn't enough, small plates of blistered Padron peppers, sherry glazed pearl onions, grilled quail, roasted pepper empanadas and pulled pork sliders cement my crush on you.

You are a siren, luring me in, and while I wish your Happy Hour started earlier and had more tapas specials, you know I will be back.

I will be back.

Fino Restaurant Patio & Bar

2905 San Gabriel Street

Austin, Texas 78705

512.474.2905

http://www.astiaustin.com/fino/