They ain't lyin'

I've recently started exercising fairly regularly and am trying to watch what I eat. So of course a recent night out included a very strict diet regime I call, "Tamales and Sausage".

Note: You really should consult your doctor before beginning any new diet. Luckily mine was there. OK, it was my dad. And he's a dermatologist. But whatever.

Floore's does a limited menu when they have a big show so the regular cafe menu that includes salads, sandwiches and chicken fried goodness is whittled down to meat, meat and meat. And no fries, just chips. Luckily this fit my new requirements. I had 6 (!) of the best tamales I've ever had in my life (and I've made home made tamales). They are the perfect combination of meat to masa and fat to spice. They are really, really good. Then I washed them down with a sausage. (I turned my nose up at the flour tortilla it was wrapped in until I saw it was smeared with the charred outside of the sausage so I had to try it. And it was worth it.) The sausages aren't too greasy and have a smokey thing going on that I really like. I declared that I wanted to make a sausage flavored lozenge as I sucked on a particularly good piece. I'd kiss snotty strangers just to get sick. Yes, I just said that. Rounded out the meal with a couple of Michelob Ultras for dessert (note to self: they make you very burpy. do not drink any more of those) and I was a very happy camper. A happy camper that couldn't get up and dance because my jeans were undone.

John T. Floore Country Store. You'll come for the tamales, you'll stay for the sausage. Oh yeah, and some pretty damn good live music.

John T. Floore Country Store

14492 Old Bandera Rd

Helotes, Texas 78023

210.695.8827

http://www.liveatfloores.com/index.html

$200 Pyramid

Plural of "imperium" meaning command or supreme power.

An online Medieval strategy game.

An event center in New Jersey.

A coastal town in Italy.

A goth metal band.

A cabinet maker in New England.

An overhyped Asian restaurant and sushi bar in Austin.

Things named Imperia? Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!!

We had high hopes after seeing all the accolades it had received, but after the first two appetizers, we were disappointed. Oh! But those first two appetizers were soooooo good! The Imperia House Edamame served warm with Fresno chiles and lemon essence were yummy and the Buttery Edamame Potstickers were. to. die. for. For real. To die for. We'll go back for drinks and appetizers.

What we won't go back for is anything else. While the quality of the food is fine, the balance of some of the other dishes we had was waaaaay off. The Imperia Suzuke (ceviche) was so overpowered by the lime, that was all you tasted. Couldn't even tell you what fish it had it. And it was supposed to have tomatoes, cilantro and sliced Asian pears (?!), but it had almonds and golden raisins. Either way it didn't matter because you couldn't taste anything anyway. The Pablo Escolar roll did not live up to it's great name. You would assume that if the description says "blah, blah, blah rolled in tempura flakes" that all the ingredients would be ROLLED up and not have the thing you hate that you thought you could handle if it was mixed in, because come on, how much could they possibly put in it, plopped on top all grey and gross. Why does eggplant, Japanese or otherwise, even exist?! We didn't even finish it. Those were the two big misses and the dishes in between aren't worth going back for.

For the money, I'm going to Uchi. It only means "house".

Imperia Asian Dining|Sushi Bar & Lounge

310 Colorado St.

Austin, Texas 78701

512.472.6770

http://www.imperia-austin.com/

It's OK

Chips & Rockstar Queso... they were OK.

Handcut Sweet Potato Fries... they were OK.

Migas with Home Fries and Black Beans... they were OK.

Starseeds Cafe. It's OK.

Starseeds Cafe

3101 N. IH-35

Austin, Texas 78722

512.478.7107

http://www.starseedscafe.com/

Half not good with fractions

Half Cajun. Half TexMex. Half Southern.

And yet it all adds up.

I treated the unofficial contest winner from "Bess, I hear you callin'... " (December '09) to Red's Porch today... nothing says "Congratulations!" like a meal at a place picked solely so I can blog about it.

I was intrigued by the new math of their slogan so I went for the trifecta - a dish from each genre... sorta. See the whole menu has things that are reminiscent of the three types, but they subtly blend and morph into one type. A good type. So just go with me on this.

Mexican: Goat Cheese Jalapeno Poppers hand stuffed with roasted garlic, bacon and thyme. They may have been hand stuffed, but as far as I could tell it was only with goat cheese. It came with a fun green goddess type sauce that was almost too subtle if the pepper was too spicy. Still very good for a fried cheese stuffed treat, but I'll try something else next time. (Unofficial Contest Winner* got the South Texas Traditional Enchiladas and they were just that. Rice was different, pretty sticky, I didn't taste the beans. He said you can't hide your lack of talent in a cheese enchilada so it's his litmus test. They passed.)

Cajun: Shrimp Po-Boy with friend shrimp, red onion, lettuce, tomato and Cajun tarter sauce. Oh my. This was yummy. The shrimp was that perfect crispy fried, not the too much batter fried. Everything was super fresh and I don't know what Cajun tarter sauce really is, but it was goooood. And the fries! Good lord! I try not to eat fries; white potato + frying = bad for you. But I do like to taste them... and I tasted way more than I needed to today. Crispy outside, fluffy inside and with a spicy Parmesan something something going on. Mmmmm-mmmmm!

Southern: Fried Snickers. Funnel cake battered with powdered sugar and chocolate sauce. You can't get more white-trash than that. And I won't be getting that white-trash again. Ever.

Top it off with a local 512 brew... only because I didn't see the super-happy-fun-time drink menu... and it was quite an afternoon. It could have only been better if the weather had cooperated - their upper deck is worth being mentioned in the name.

Just don't ask them to do math.

Red's Porch

3508 South Lamar

Austin, Texas 78704

512.440.REDS

http://www.redsporch.com/

* not his real name

3 out of 5 Maudie's agree - Update

We hit three out of the five Maudie's last night: Original for a margarita, Too for a margarita and queso and Hacienda for a margarita and dinner.

And that's where it went downhill.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE Maudie's. We can live on their Diablo Sol Food (see entry of same name, August '09) and Hubby orders the Rockin' Ruthann's every. single. time. we go.

But I ordered the Tilapia Tacos (trying to balance out the queso and two... ok, three margaritas) and I was so, so very disappointed. Hubby said he should have warned me as he had ordered them once, but to go. He thought his frustration was with the technical challenge of eating fish tacos with chipotle sauce while driving was to blame. It wasn't. The flour tortillas were gummy (I prefer corn anyway) and the chipotle sauce was incredibly overwhelming. Why add tomatoes, avocado and cheese when you can't taste it? And why put cheese on a fish taco anyway?! I ate all of my black beans, they were yummy, and scraped all the sauce I could off the second taco... it didn't really help. Then I had two bites of Hubby's R.R. to satisfy my craving for good Tex-Mex, because what I had only made me feel a little sick.

So this is just a public service announcement... please go to Maudie's, but if your loved one is about to order the Tilapia Tacos in an effort to regain the figure that once captivated you, tell her that you love her just the way she is and to order the Mexican Special like a real woman.

Thank you for your support.

Maudie's

5 locations around town - soon to be 6!

http://www.maudies.com/