From Blue to Que

Hello. Remember me? Cheetah? I've been MIA for a spell. I've been eating, just haven't had time to tell y'all about it. But stand back, I'm about to make up for it...

Back in January, I had to travel down to Harlingen for a week for work. On my last day there one of my work colleagues, that has never been to the gulf coast, really wanted some seafood. So, one of the locals recommended The Blue Shell. When our party of six walked in, we were all hit by a smell. I can't really describe it except to say that that smell should not come out of any restaurant, let alone a seafood restaurant. The place was empty and no one ever came to seat us so, we got the hell out of there.

Next, our local suggested a steak place called Longhorn Cattle Company. Which is hilarious because it's really a Bar-B-Que place that serves steaks nightly (see pic). Whatever, because it was awesome. But how can you go wrong with a wagon wheel in the "lobby", a dessert case, pitchers o'drinks, an amuse bouche of charro beans served in a mug (the best I've every had, seriously), a juicy steak and loaded baked potato and evidence that everyone in the area loves this place?

Longhorn Cattle Company

3055 W. Expy 83

San Benito, TX 78586

956-399-4400

http://www.longhorncattlecompany.com/

Y? Because we like you!

We're not crazy about your hostess, but we like you!

The good outweighed the bad first impression the older hostess? manager? lady? gave us on our inaugural visit to Jack Allen's Kitchen. I only point out that she was older to differentiate her from the younger lady that took us to our table and was very nice. The older one... well, my exact words were, "She's a bitch." And I'll leave it at that.

What I won't leave is the Smashed Guacamole with pumpkin seeds, cojita cheese and house-fried chips. I'm glad avocado has the good kind of fat because I stuffed myself with it. I obviously wasn't too stuffed to also enjoy the Baja Style Fish Tacos and the Texas Gulf Blue Crab Gratin. Or the Chocolate Bombe. Or any of the three kinds of mojitos I tried.

Started by a team from Z'Tejas, in a totally redesigned building, using fresh and local ingredients, Southwest Austin is blessed to have this gem right off The Y at Oak Hill.

Just tell that lady at the front door to smile.

Jack Allen's Kitchen

7720 Highway 71 West

Austin, Texas 78735

512.852.8558

http://www.jackallenskitchen.com/index.html

Good. Lord.

I may have died and gone to heaven last night.

It was my second visit to Max's Wine Dive and it only confirmed what a crazy good restaurant it is. CRAZY GOOD!

First time I went I had the blue cheese chips (OMG), fried chicken (what the heck have I been eating all these years?!) and New Orleans bread pudding (could not stop eating it!). Zilla had the pot roast (mouth-watering) and shared my appy and dessert, lest you think I ate all that myself. Although I could have. Watch me.

Last night, after a film fest and a Guinness, we needed sustenance and were mere blocks away from Max's. How convenient! We pored over the menu and I tell you what, every. single. thing looked delectable. We settled on: the Yama Kobe beef burger for me (#16 on Texas Monthly's list and way higher on mine), the Fried Egg Sandwich for Wonderhands (good god almighty) and the Drunk Bread for Nay-Nay (simply divine).

In a nutshell:

Burger - perfect beefy goodness, you taste every layer of flavor, nothing overwhelms (except the spicy-ass ketchup for the fries! Wow! Hot!), it was a fantastic, upscale, yet basic, burger.

Sandwich - bacon and eggs on a whole new level; homey and delicious.

Drunk Bread - like a lazy man's fondue - no dipping required! the wine and Gruyere were up front and personal... I loved it.

And I didn't even mention the Tres Fritos we started with - fried green tomatoes, pickles and okra... mmmm... fried okra... mmmm...

I absolutely adore this restaurant and I hope no one reads this and spreads the word so it gets so busy I can't get in anytime I want. In fact, forget everything you just read - "These aren't the droids you're looking for."

Move along you looky-loos, there's nothing to see here!

Max's Wine Dive

207 San Jacinto Avenue

Austin, Texas 78701

512.904.0106

http://www.maxswinedive.com/austin/index.php

Expect Mole. Pagas Less.

What do you do when you want Mexican but don't want to get too far off the highway? Stop by a place next to a Target.

Azul Tequila has been around about 9 years, has an extensive tequila/margarita list, make 99% of the food from scratch (all except the flour tortillas - I asked) and are the only ones that make Chili Relleno en Almendra - poblano pepper stuffed with sauteed picadillo blended with almonds, raisins, tomatoes and onions topped with almond cream sauce - right... at least according to my waiter.

So one Mexican Martini later, I had a pretty good time. I want to go back. Maybe it didn't blow my mind, but it didn't blow my budget and it satisfied my craving.

And I need some things at Target.

Azul Tequila

4211 S. Lamar Blvd.

Austin, Texas 78704

512.416.9667

http://www.azultequila.com/index.php

Coffee Talk - Lift Cafe

Bacon, in fact, does not make everything better.

And I love bacon. LOVE bacon. It's the only reason I am not a vegetarian. So naturally I am drawn to all things bacon, hence trying the Bacon Latte at Lift Cafe. It's not on the menu, but another blog post mentioned it so I marched in and ordered one the other afternoon. And the look on the chick's face should have been warning enough.

She was half cutie/half slacker so I wasn't sure her quizzical look was about the fact that I ordered one or that she was confused I actually asked her to do some work. I waited while she panini-pressed some bacon, watched her drain the last little dribble of the butter pecan syrup into my cup and replied with a hesitant "...yes?" to her question of whether I'd like whole milk. The look on her face implied that I did. At this point, I'm nervous. When the "barista" (and I'm using air quotes with all sincerity here) is not even into the beverage at hand, you know you're in trouble. Same goes for her query as to whether I want whipped cream and pecans - not something I would normally get - but when trying a bacon latte, you should just trust the recipe. Her only honest moment was when she admitted she's not good with the whipped cream sprayer thing... it wasn't pretty.

First sip - whipped cream, real whipped cream, yummy.

Second sip - stale, chewy pecans.

Third sip - latte. Just latte.

Fourth sip - still just latte. And not even a very good one. And where's the Butter Pecan flavor?

Repeat 5 more times.

Tenth sip - what the?! Oh, yeah. There's bacon in the bottom of my cup. Two pieces of wet, floppy bacon. I'm immediately reminded of the scene in Stars Wars (Episode IV- A New Hope for you nerds) where they are trapped in the trash compactor and that slimy, snaky monster thing slithers up out of the water. (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.) I don't know what I was expecting. Actually, I don't even know what I was thinking.

I drink the whole thing anyway, looking for the bacon flavor in my bacon latte. I get a hint of smokey-something-not-really-bacon toward the end because it's been marinating in my cup (blech). But I finish it and eat the bacon, because I'm no quitter.

And then I curled up in a fetal position until the nausea passed.

Lift Cafe

215 S. Lamar, Suite A

Austin, Texas

512.472.LIFT

http://www.liftaustin.com/