Bacon, in fact, does not make everything better.
And I love bacon. LOVE bacon. It's the only reason I am not a vegetarian. So naturally I am drawn to all things bacon, hence trying the Bacon Latte at Lift Cafe. It's not on the menu, but another blog post mentioned it so I marched in and ordered one the other afternoon. And the look on the chick's face should have been warning enough.
She was half cutie/half slacker so I wasn't sure her quizzical look was about the fact that I ordered one or that she was confused I actually asked her to do some work. I waited while she panini-pressed some bacon, watched her drain the last little dribble of the butter pecan syrup into my cup and replied with a hesitant "...yes?" to her question of whether I'd like whole milk. The look on her face implied that I did. At this point, I'm nervous. When the "barista" (and I'm using air quotes with all sincerity here) is not even into the beverage at hand, you know you're in trouble. Same goes for her query as to whether I want whipped cream and pecans - not something I would normally get - but when trying a bacon latte, you should just trust the recipe. Her only honest moment was when she admitted she's not good with the whipped cream sprayer thing... it wasn't pretty.
First sip - whipped cream, real whipped cream, yummy.
Second sip - stale, chewy pecans.
Third sip - latte. Just latte.
Fourth sip - still just latte. And not even a very good one. And where's the Butter Pecan flavor?
Repeat 5 more times.
Tenth sip - what the?! Oh, yeah. There's bacon in the bottom of my cup. Two pieces of wet, floppy bacon. I'm immediately reminded of the scene in Stars Wars (Episode IV- A New Hope for you nerds) where they are trapped in the trash compactor and that slimy, snaky monster thing slithers up out of the water. (I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.) I don't know what I was expecting. Actually, I don't even know what I was thinking.
I drink the whole thing anyway, looking for the bacon flavor in my bacon latte. I get a hint of smokey-something-not-really-bacon toward the end because it's been marinating in my cup (blech). But I finish it and eat the bacon, because I'm no quitter.
And then I curled up in a fetal position until the nausea passed.
Lift Cafe
215 S. Lamar, Suite A
Austin, Texas
512.472.LIFT
yay for the post! and yuck for the disappointment.
ReplyDeleteglad you're no quitter.
way to power through the nausea.
ReplyDeleteIs that like eating the worm in a bottle of whatever it is in (tequila? mescal?)
ReplyDeleteOh Lawd.
ReplyDeleteI will say, the chocolate chip/bacon cookies one of the dads made for our last covered-dish dinner at church were actually quite tasty. I can get the recipe for you if you're interested.
Try the chocolate-covered bacon from Big Top Candy on SoCo. Much better than bacon latte!
ReplyDelete